Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
