No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize