I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
my being single is dangerous.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
