My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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