so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
