This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
