Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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