the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I didn't notice because vodka
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
