Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
