I will die if light touches me.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize