there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
try to milk me bitch
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