it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Found the puke drawer
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
