we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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