i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Randomize
