my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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