They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize