dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
