Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
