i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
