I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
