How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
