her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
