if i can run in heels then i can drive
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
