i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
