Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
She told me I should be a condom model.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
