Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Randomize
