Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
