just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
