My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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