also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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