I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
