NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
