I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
