I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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