ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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