how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
