going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
be right there i have to get my cape
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
