we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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