Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
