Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
