If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
