I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
