people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
he puts the penis in happiness.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
