Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
