It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
You pole danced in your parka.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
