I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
