franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
