Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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