I molested 6 butterflies tonight
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Rumble strips road head = magical
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
