At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
