i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
