ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
