oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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