she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
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