I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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