It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
