I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
