As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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