i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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