You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
