One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You took a bar mat shot.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
