we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
