Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize